Series 5 of 5: “Build Clarity” For me the brain controls all, being worried, concerned or upset means I am not performing in many aspects of my life. The yoyo weight gain and loss, and health issues rear their head. I was amazed how the multiple physical trials of my service career came back to bite me 20 years after retiring. Yes, every time I was not doing what really mattered to me. It started as a little niggle progressively developing to full on pain. Where there is a will there is a way.

Series 3 of 5: “Build Communication Skills” There are 2 basic communication aspects: in your head (Inner) and to everybody else (outer) Inner: “With what I have, how can I get where I want? Asking this question to yourself offers you opportunity to establish what you might want that finally focuses down to what you really, truly need and want. This opens the door to taking a strategic approach on focus on refinement. Sometimes an inner conversation may start like this: You ask me who I am, and I wonder what of me, you will understand, if I tell you! Establishing ways to connect to people can be difficult. Especially if outside of a work situation Outer: Changing or ending your career can cause major disruption to you or to those around you and can be especially hard for those who are dependent on you. The pain of staying where you are is becoming intolerable, what to do. You need to plan your own escape, commencing collaboration with significant others can be difficult and is important . Realizing my own incompetency in managing of handing social situations was made clear very abruptly. “How a Cup of Tea for James nearly did me in” The strengths and weakness of every relationship I have ever had were brought sharply into focus this week. The daunting prospect of a Cup of Tea for James had galvanized my introspection. It seemed everywhere I looked, I saw people meeting and greeting over ‘Tea’. They did this with such love and intimacy that I was disturbed. It was too big to wrap my brain around it. Yet far too important to dismiss!! Something was definitely missing from my life. Not the product of abuse rather the absence of community. I am beginning to realize just how this humble cup of tea changes the world. Its power is in the individual connections it promotes. This is specific not abstract!! Perhaps I could go as far as to say it is “a solution to all 21 st Century ills”. Finally, I was able to understand my anxiety about ‘A Cup of Tea for James’. Now I can make real choices Oh! Yes, A cup of Tea for James nearly did me in. Acting with Calmness in difficult situations, means acting with inner integrity, and inner authority while building the future. This is not a passive approach to life; action is needed, and it needs to be visible. It takes a lot of confidence, communication, and calmness to take the time to have clarity in your life and your business

Series 2 of 5: “Build Confidence” Defying convention did not come easy to me. I wanted all the opportunities the world and my family could offer. I saw a man walk on the moon and thought why not me. I was an eleven-year-old girl dyslexic who was labelled dumb. As luck would have it, I could play almost every sport that was available to both girls and boys. (I was the only girl in the street) This set me up to learn stuff, what winning was, how to use time and a whole lot of things about moving, action, changing roles, perspectives, and strategizing. A fortunate encounter led me to understand my need to ask this question: “With what I have, how can I get where I want? This led me to countless learning opportunities. Choosing to study physics not history, did night school to pass English, reading “read faster read better”. I still don’t write well but I do read fast now. I know you might be bored right now, perhaps feeling trapped and isolated. You have been here before, you choose to do something, you took a path that might have required enormous focus and effort. Sometimes you may have given up freedoms your peers took for granted. So, did I. Making the transition to a civilian life was not easy, I was often anxious that I would become irrelevant, the distance I felt from my family was terrifying. I kept busy doing stuff hoping the next path / way would materialise. Like a bolt of lightning, I realised I was back to seeing a man walk on the moon. Question time!